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How To Train Your Dog Without Touching It!
Lap Monster
Minette
My Demanding Dog!
I have a cat in my lap while I write this…no…wait, it looks like a dog, it smells like a dog and it is definitely poking me in the face like a dog! It seems as though I have a demanding attention hound on my hands.
I have never had a dog that felt like it needed to compete with my time while I was on the computer or reading a book, but this one sure does! I noticed it mostly when I recently took a college class. Suffice it to say, it has been a while since I was in college and spending my time studying, so all of a sudden my days and evenings were spent with my nose in a book.
Often I had a flying super dog dive bomb head first into my book, trust me I have the crinkled, snotted on pages to prove my story. I tried desperately to accommodate puppy time and stroking WHILE I kept my eyes focused on the information. For the most part I don’t mind her in my lap…that was until I noticed how DEMANDING she was getting about it.
It was as if contemplating studying would wake her up and bring her running!
She is a very dominant breed of dog, known for making decisions and being difficult to train and I see that streak in her occasionally, so I realized it was time to nip this behavior in the bud! I don’t want to live with a dictator or a difficult dog and demanding my immediate attention and affection is bordering on turning into a controlling relationship!
What to do?
Secretly, I like a good cuddle so what do I do about that?
I make cuddling on MY TERMS! I appreciate that she is a cuddly kinda person and I recognize that petting calms her. She enjoys sleeping on me and requesting kisses by gently pressing her snout to my lips and for the most part I enjoy it. But, sometimes I need to write a few articles to pay the dog food bills, or I need to study for an exam, or I want to read a book without a flailing puppy in my lap.
So I decided it must be on my terms, no longer can she boogie board through the air into my lap or onto my book or laptop! From now on I will invite her up, if and when I desire her company and she can only stay on my lap if she is not attempting to scratch out my eyes when I stop petting her!
I will also be employing more regular obedience. She needs to understand where she stands in the pack. She can tell me what her needs are calmly, quietly and with
Maybe Its Because I Let Her Drive Too Early!
kindness but she simply cannot DEMAND that I do anything! If I give in to her demands, I become the trained and she becomes the trainer…then she begins to slowly take over other aspects of my life!
I love her, and I enjoy having a snuggle bunny but if I am not careful I will be unconsciously creating a demanding little monster! It is just another lesson in being careful what you reinforce and what you allow in your relationship with your dog!
32 responses to “Lap Monster”
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First of all, what breed is this? It looks vaguely like a Kai Ken.
I agree totally. We have made dogs into surrogate partners, with all the permissions that go with. BUT, dogs are not partners, and have essentially no RIGHTS. They do not dictate where/when/how they will be fed, exercised, or petted. We create monsters out of dogs regularly, but it doesn’t have to be that way. This behavior in dogs gets millions of them euthanized or just abandoned yearly, and need not happen. Train your dogs, let them know where they stand, and your dogs, and the folks with whom they socialize will have happier lives!
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Minette Reply:
March 20th, 2011 at 9:25 am
She is a Dutch Shepherd, little monster! But I love her, I am on vacation and she has been trying this with her daddy this week ha ha!
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My younger dog is fine when it is just me However when someone comes to visist Or I talkk on the phone she makes a terible amount of atentin seeking loud noises
I can’t put her out because my neighbour is very anti both dogs and barking !!!
Now when someone visists BOTH of them cary on barkinglike lunatics until I take my attention off my visistor and turn to them
Ive tried ignoring them (and visistors do too) but that no longer helps
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Cindy Reply:
March 20th, 2011 at 10:11 am
You can change this behavior, because you have created it. When the phone rings, put them in a dog secure room, or in a crate. (Enlist a friend to call you at an opportune time, just lay the phone down after you answer.) Go to the room you have placed the dogs, and listen. If there is no commotion, let them out, praise them, and go about your business. I would talk on the phone for a few seconds, and if there is no commotion, praise them again, or give a treat. Always praise good behavior not bad behavior. Be consistent and this will work. I assume they misbehave during other goings on, so work to change all those inappropriate things done by dogs, and all will be happier.
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This little “story” was absolutely NO HELP what-so-ever.. All it said was what’s wrong and what she has to do.. but never HOW TO DO IT…
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Minette Reply:
March 20th, 2011 at 9:27 am
By not allowing her to come up without asking and going back to my basic obedience it should help curb this problem.
Obedience is the key when dealing with a demanding dog.
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I like the idea of what you’re saying, but don’t really get from your article how to achieve it. Any specific training techniques for making this happen? My dog is a 65 lb. hound dog and loves to do the same things as yours. I could use some advice!
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Minette Reply:
March 20th, 2011 at 9:33 am
You have to not accept the behavior, by getting up, telling your dog “NO” or giving him a different incompatible behavior.
Love and affection should be on your terms, and given for a job well done. If this really bothers you, don’t accept his climbing on you at all and go to him for affection.
Also just the basics of obedience (as I stated) help turn the tide of a demanding dog, it doesn’t have to be anything fancy or it could be teaching him lots of new things, but learning and learning to listen are what changes a demanding dog.
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Hi,
We have got a 3 year old border collie that we adore to bits and she is exactly the same as stated above but we have tried the above and she does respond to any of that and she starts making whinging and crying noises. WE have only had her 20 months and was wondering if there is anything else we could try.
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@ March 20th, 2011 at 09:20Ignoring your dog while you go about your business is the best way to bring about obedient behavior. It doesn’t take long for them to figure out if I am calm I will be pet-if I am jumping/barking/nuisance – I do not!I have a yorkie, a maltese, and a lab – when I come home everyone comes to see me but no more jumping and demanding my attention! And it didn’t take but about a week!
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oldbraincells Reply:
March 25th, 2011 at 12:45 pm
The power of ignoring (or reset to norm as I like to refer) cannot be overemphasized. Perhaps simple in concept (it is) but sometimes harder to accomplish .. but stick it out and things usually change .. for the better of all.
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Minette is right. Obedience is key. I have a 3 year old Boxer who started this demanding behavior. I am working with her by putting her back on the leash that I trained her with and reinforcing the basic commands of sit , down, and stay. When I give myself a break. I use it to play with her so she also gets some pleasurable time as a reward for her good behavior. Because Boxers are always ready to play, it helps reinforce the behaviors we are working toward.
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@ March 20th, 2011 at 09:53How often do you work obedience training with your dog? What are your biggest challenges with obedience? For down stay stand on the leash until dog gets it. If you are successful with regular obedience training being mugged by your dog won’t be a problem.
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Minette Reply:
March 20th, 2011 at 1:29 pm
Excellent!! I work with my dogs several times a day, most of the time, for short periods or during walks or runs but I can tell if I slack for a few days and the natives get restless!
Once obedience is mastered, teach your dog as much as possible, mental stimulation is the key to a happy relationship!
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We have two dogs, a Terrier and a Hound..both can be embarassing when we have company visit us. So we have established a section in our house where the dogs stay while our visitors are in OUR home. Our friends know our pets are important parts of our homelife and the dogs sort of suffice the “empty nest” for us, as our children are off living their own lives. When our pets whine and growl because they want us to “mind them”, I ignore them and go on with my business and as they know what a “toy” is, I tell them to find a toy. It works for the most part, but the Terrier can be a “terror” if she wants to, but she is just 9 months old, so I am still working with her. She loves to chew, so we provide LOTS of rawhide chewies and they know “chewie”. We love them, but they have to know they are dogs, pets…and we are the Leaders of the pack.
Thanks Chet for making this issue a good one for discussion.
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@ March 20th, 2011 at 10:14Hi,
I have a year old Shiba Inu. We live in the country so he doesn’t see strangers very often. Every time someone comes to our home he barks and sometimes charges at them. He has never bitten anyone, just acts aggressively. If we have a larger group, like for holidays he is even worse with his barking. He is OK if the person are sitting down but doesn’t like people moving around. Does not like small children, I think because they move quicker.
I have tried time outs, putting him in his crate and telling him no. Treats from a stranger seems to help a little.
What is a better approach???
He gets car sick so it is hard to take him along when we go someplace where are people.
He is great when it is just myself and my husband. He comes when he is called, sits and stays, usually, lies down on command but not when other people are around.
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Shaz Reply:
March 20th, 2011 at 2:09 pm
Hi Vicki,
My advice with your shiba would be to make strangers and visitors a pleasant experience, rather than a punishment. So far you’ve tried correcting his bad behaviour with time out, crating and verbal commands, but this can reinforce what a bad thing these stangers are. He’s reacting like this because he wasn’t socialised enough with changes and strangers when young enough to accept his circumstances, so now as an older dog, he’s defending himself the only way he knows how. It is also a trait of sheba’s, so that makes it even harder.
You said that the treat from a stranger worked a little, then see this as a positive thing and use it more! Give him pleasure – treats, play, praise etc, whatever gets him happy and make his experience with uncomfortable situations a far more positive one. Get your friends to treat him LOTS when they arrive, you treat him when strangers go past. Watch for critical distance – there is a point where he goes from wary to worried as the strangers get closer. Watch his reactions, keep him at a comfortable distance and treat him lots. As he gets used to it, you can have him get closer and closer until he is comfortable just walking past strangers or even being treated by them. Ask these people not to look him in the eye until he’s happy. He sees this as a challenge. It may take a lot of work and time to get him to relax, but if you are careful and watch his body language and always set him up for success, you will be able to change his attitude and make him much more confident.
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Cindy Reply:
March 20th, 2011 at 7:18 pm
I agree. I own/train/show several shibas, and this is exactly the behavior exhibited by many shibas. It is their NATURE to behave in this manner, so research breeds before you buy a new companion, like a shiba. You must socialize a shiba from the get go, when he/she is a baby. Now that this dog is a bit older, and showing who he is, your job will be harder. But it is manageable. He may never be a golden retriever, or a lab, but he can learn presentable greetings for people. It will take some time, but you should get someone who is knowledgeable with hard to train dogs, and get a good start. Good Luck!
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Vicki Reply:
March 20th, 2011 at 8:22 pm
Thanks, I will keep working with Rosco. I got him from a bachelor farmer and I don’t think he was socialized when he was younger. He didn’t even like my husband at first. It was like he was afraid of him. My husband gave him treats and now he loves him. I agree it will take time, I did know that shiba are weary of strangers. A friend of mine has a shiba and he is very obedient and social. Go figure, I had to pick a stinker! He is my sweetie tho.
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I have a year old lab. I am trying to be the dominate one. I turn my back when she is mis behaving and she knocks me down and hurts my back. I know she understands NO. When giving treats I make her wait and sit with saying No until I say Yes and she understands that. I know why people get rid of their big dogs, I want to keep her but what a challenge. Do training places like at Petsmart really help?
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Minette Reply:
March 20th, 2011 at 1:26 pm
It is all about the quality time you spend together training and working and learning to co-exist and enjoy each other.
When I use to teach classes I told people their dogs would not learn in a class environment nor only training once a week. Training classes are more for the human, the dog learns through consistency and repetition at home. That being said if class gives you a reason to work with her more consistently because you want to show improvement in the class then do it! It is all about what gets you working together as a team.
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Bonnie Reply:
March 20th, 2011 at 5:46 pm
I have an 80 lbs rhodesian ridgeback/boxer mix who attended puppy training/socialization classes at PetSmart with me. The trainer was great and taught the ignore/turn your back method, which was’t working for me. So the trainer suggested I keep a short tab lead, about 10 inches long, on the dog when we were together, and when he started to jump, I would grab the short tab,calmly walk the dog to a quiet room, and close the door. I ignored him and walked away from the door for about 3 minutes, not much longer or the dog loses interest and does associate the behavior with the correction. When I opened the door and called the dog out, if he jumped again, he went back in. I never had to do this more than 3 or 4 times in a row before the dog calmed down. I even had friends ring the door bell and if he got excited would take him to his quiet room. Now at 2 years old this is not a problem, but I had to be consistant and do it every time and it took a while, but all I have to do now is point to the room and he calms down. Good Luck.
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yes – i have a Border collie/rottie mix who is desperately affectionate. i’ve been following much of the suggestions here, do them, yet it’s the pathetic whining, the sadness! I can ignore the eyes, but the whining is can be irritating when one is trying to concentrate on something else besides the dog. Because our dog knows she may not bark, she does a kind of huff, a little cough, all the while gazing intently into my face. She can do this for quite a stretch! Redirecting her is what i do – toys, a bone to chew, etc, but it’s me she wants and In the end, i put her into her kennel for a time out. Other suggestions?
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Minette Reply:
March 20th, 2011 at 1:22 pm
Try just leaving the room when she does that, its YOU she wants if that causes you to leave she will learn not to do it!
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I have a 7 yr. old Maltise/Snauzer & a 7 yr. old Jack Russell. Their worst habits are jumping up & down & barking when people come to the door. Also, trying to get us to pet them nonstop in the evening when we are on the couch. Got any suggestions?
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@ March 20th, 2011 at 15:01My Lab used to be like that. After working with her on some basic commands like heel, she now asks for permission. The one thing I am still working on is getting her to lie down either under the table or on the couch when I am eating. She doesn’t try taking the food; she just sits there waiting for droppings; but I want her with her four paws on the ground along with her belly or on her place.
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@ March 20th, 2011 at 17:11I have 2 male Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppies and Charlie is 9 months old. He is housebroken for the most part but his 1/2 brother Benji who is 1 1/2 years old is very not housebroken! I take them outside before we go to bed and they then sleep on our bed with our Lab mix Ginger who is also housebroken. Very early in the morning Benji will hop off of the bed while we are asleep and poop and urinate on the living room floor before returning to the bed quietly or when we are in the living room watching TV he sometimes goes while I am not looking. Our living room floor is covered with 8 mill plastic sheeting. I have given them their food near their poop and I have tried crating Benji but that only causes him to cry and scratch the crate and keep us awake. I want them to be free and they have a great tunnel to go outside which they use during the day. I have praised and treated them when they go outside to eliminate. How can I teach Benji that the outside is his only toilet?
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@ March 20th, 2011 at 18:11You keep saying “when obedience is mastered”, etc. How do you get your dog to obey. That’s the problem in the first place. Do you mean obedience training;like teaching your dog to sit? That I understand and can do. But mastering obedience is not clear.
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Minette Reply:
March 21st, 2011 at 8:44 am
It is “mastered” when your dog does it (“it” being whatever you are working on sit, down, stay or off leash obedience) most of the time. I shoot for 90% of the time, its never going to be 100% as those of us who compete know, but I shoot for the highest level I can get.
If they are not listening that well, then it requires time and more work till you get there. Hope that helps!
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Hi,
I have a poodle &a shi tzu. The poodle whines &itmakes me crazy.. I tell her no whining or she`ll have to go to her kennel. She stop’s most of the time. I also tell her to go & get a bone (stuffed toys etc), and that changes that behavior at that timeb but not for good. She plays with her brother(who is tottaly laid back)and all is good. They make me laugh and fill my heart with much joy (when there is no whining).
Enjoyed reading what all of you had to say.
Thanks!
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@ March 21st, 2011 at 02:19Hi,
I have two and half year old Great Dane (male).In fact we could not socialise him properly esp. with dogs or animals so he gets very excited and goes out of control once he happened to see any dog, he chages and fight with his fyll strength .Suggest, how to correct.
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@ March 22nd, 2011 at 05:20I have a different problem. I adopted two 6 year old shi tzu’s who had been used as breeding dogs from a puppy mill. The closed puppy mill had 500 dogs. Their afraid of everything, including me. Also, I absolutely can not get them potty trained. Their great dogs, but I don’t know what to do about the potty outside issue and the scared of everything issue. Any suggestions. Is there light at the end of the tunnel or have they been to damaged by life at the puppy mill.
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@ March 24th, 2011 at 07:57